Sic Itur Ad Astra
by keladryevangelinerhysenn
Summary: The story of Princess Kalasin, from Corus to Carthage
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Oh how I love character development! Here is a practical biography of Princess Kalasin of Conte, a sadly disregarded/unexplored character. I just wanted to fill in the gaps of her story; she has a lot of potential- you must admit. **

**This ended up being too long to be a one-shot, so I'm just splitting it up. The entire thing should be up in a matter of days. **

As Princess Kalasin of Conte first emerged into the world she emitted a ferocious, rousing battle cry and her mother wept relieved tears. From the moment Queen Thayet had discovered her first daughter had taken up residence in her womb, she had feared that the child would not live to feel the warmth of the sun on her face. On more than one occasion during her pregnancy Duke Baird had been urgently called to her chambers to find the babe in distress, which naturally distressed the Queen as well. Lavender circles began to grow beneath her bronze eyes, which had begun to loose their luster. Her young son, barely a year old, still required a lot of attention which had not improved her stress levels. (Secretly she had prayed to the Goddess for her new baby to be a girl, hopefully she would be much more mild mannered than her brother.)

Despite her worry, the simple cry of her new baby convinced her that she had nothing more to fear. Surely a cry like that meant that the child was willing and able to live.

She was born will a full head of dark hair the color of a midwinter night's sky and long curling eyelashes that covered her aquamarine eyes, identical to the ice on a completely frozen sea. The royal midwife gawked at the child whose skin already appeared as though it had been kissed by the sun, and whose wails sounded almost melodic. She had witnessed the birth of countless children, but this one was remarkable to behold.

She wriggled unhappily in her mother's arms for a few moments before her tears dried. She stared at her mother eagerly with a perfect pout on her tiny pink lips.

Tears of anguish and delight spilled over the queen's eyes at she gazed back at her daughter. Yes, this little girl had been born with an appetite for life and adventure; she could see that in her azure eyes. Her daughter would be free to do as she liked, just as her K'miri grandmother once had. In that moment Thayet had great expectations for the child in her arms. She would be Kalasin, and she would not only rule over her land, but also the hearts and minds of the people in it. Little Kalasin could be herself and not worry about the mold others had set for her.

But perhaps Queen Thayet was a bit too presumptuous about the life of her new child, who had not yet seen anything of the world she had been brought into, and knew nothing of responsibility or reputation.

Two weeks later she was laid out in a decorated bassinet for the entire kingdom to greet and adore. Even commoners were allowed to coo and sigh from a distance, interested in catching a glimpse of the newest monarch. The King and Queen received their congratulations graciously as usual while beaming at their lovely daughter. Kalasin watched the proceedings with uncomprehending eyes in an extravagant gown made of pure white lace and regal blue velvet.

She endured the attention of nobles and royalty from other lands for hours without making a sound. Thayet was grateful that she had been granted the quiet she had prayed for with this little one. "She looks rather confused." Thayet noted to her husband with some amusement. Until that point, nothing had seemed to baffle Kalasin.

A woman with flaming red hair that seemed to glow wherever she trod stepped up on the pedestal, apologizing nonchalantly to the monarchs for being late. "She's the prettiest one yet, Jon." The stocky looking woman joked with a twinkle in her lilac eyes. "You're going to have to watch her closely when she gets older. Not that she'll need the extra watching here!" She waved her hand about the ancient fortress they were contained in. "Can I hold her?" She asked with her hands already pulling the baby out from her blankets. King Jonathan smiled discreetly and Thayet gently placed a hand on his shoulder, neither of them the least bit concerned about their vassal's brazenness. Kalasin appraised Alanna with a calculating and intelligent gaze. "She has the eyes of a trouble maker!" she grinned. "But she'll never be able to run away from here, no sir." The Lioness tickled her, and Kalasin smiled sweetly. Alanna kissed her forehead where ringlets of dark hair were already beginning to form and promised the baby that she would be back to visit her soon.

Soon after the Lioness' departure, the king gracefully swept Kalasin up out of her cradle to peer into her enigmatic eyes again. He was dressed as he always was for stately occasions that involved pomp and circumstance. This included a circlet crown that seemed to be permanently set there. Kalasin's cerulean orbs grew wide for only a moment as she caught sight of the sparkly gems a top his head and then she began to wail.

Thayet would later wonder if it dawned on little Kalasin at that moment- it was almost as if she had suddenly realized the responsibilities that came with her place in the ornamental bassinet.


	2. Chapter 2

She grew very quickly, as children often do. Her teeth were uncommonly white and straight. When she smiled she always appeared devious whether she meant to or not, but it was charming all the same.

Kalasin loved being outdoors, she liked running around on the palace grounds, starting mud fights with her brothers and learning to ride her pony. She had an inclination for climbing trees until she climbed too high once, and was hopelessly afraid of jumping down. Numair Salmalin was stalking by with his hands in his pockets at that point and noticed the poor damsel in distress. He easily plucked her off the branch and settled her back on the ground. "Might I suggest the apple orchards for next time, Princess? The trees there are a little better suited for someone of your physique." Kally curtsied for him in thanks, shaking out her rumpled skirts before running off again.

There were always fuming nursemaids trying to figure out where she had gone off to or berating her. Kally didn't seem to hear them. She would fall asleep in the garden and wake up hours later, she would sneak up onto the roof of the castle to watch the stars and the constellations they formed, the moon, and the visible planets Numair had shown her. When she was six, she found him there late at night trying to perfect a spyglass that would see up into the sky rather than into the predictable distance. He shook his head at first, but found that she was good at helping him assemble it; she liked looking through the colorful pieces of glass he was using and then handing them to him to try. He showed her the Goddess, the Cat, along with the hag and crows where they rested among the stars.

When she finally submitted to exhaustion and fell asleep propped up against a stone wall, the mage carried her back down to the nursemaids who had not even noticed she had left until he knocked on the door. Although these nursemaids could never really decide on how to treat the princess, there was one thing they could all agree upon.

The child did not know her place.

First she wanted to be a dancer like the ones that came from other lands to entertain the king and celebrate peace treaties. She was fascinated by their costumes and the beauty of their art. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. When she expressed these hopes to Thayet, the queen had no choice but to smile and hope that this phase would be over soon. By the time Kally was seven she had given that dream up.

She then endeavored to become a knight. She had watched countless spars and sword-fights over the years. The violently graceful movements almost seemed like a dance to her. She spent most of her summers training the Queen's Riders; she had always admired Alanna, and being a warrior appealed to her. Her healing ability would also certainly be beneficial to the army.

She eagerly proposed her idea to him when she was 11; she had everything perfectly planned out in her head. Her dream had taken full form, her goal was set. She would be the first openly female page, she would work hard and eventually, she would be a knight.

The King of Tortall had blatantly refused her using more words than necessary.

She did not cry, she did not protest, she simply stared at him as though he had not spoken at all. It was not that she was not used to having her father tell her no, she had just never expected him to deny her _this_.

As it turned out, her father had ambitions too.

He aimed to create a league of nations linked by Tortallan blood. He had a plan for her and he would properly present her to court at a later date.

"I have faith that things will work out for you, Kally." Her mother had reassured her. "I have faith in your father as well."

If love was faith, Kally was not sure she was capable of it. She did not think she had faith in anything anymore. Over the next three years, Kally grew bitter and stoic while leaning how to be a proper monarch of the realm.

She was terrified of waking up and realizing that her life had ended before it had even begun. Riding made her forget. She would wake up at the midnight hour and ride until day break if that's what it took to make her loose control. The closest she ever came to escaping was the very edge of the orchards on the palace grounds.

Kalasin was cold, but she hid it well- Jonathan noted one day. She was beginning to remind him of another young girl he had known a long time ago. Perhaps he had wronged them both, but he was mostly certain that Kally wouldn't be coming after him with an ax.

She turned fourteen and the time had come for her to be presented to the court as a woman. As suggested patterns for her outfit started to arrive in her rooms, she began to form a plan of her own. It was simple, but it would doubtlessly achieve the effect she wanted.

It was mid-summer, and she rode to meet the trainees where she sought out Kuri, the skilled seamstress. The princess described an elaborate dress she wanted made for the event with fervor.

"I thought the palace seamstresses took care of that sort of the thing." The woman had inquired hesitantly.

Kally took a deep breath. "Mistress Taylor, perhaps my mother has allowed you to forget your place during your time with her, but I have no intention of doing such a thing. It would suit you to do as I wish." She had been horrified at herself that she had collapsed into tears as soon as she was out of earshot. Taking advantage of people because of her position went against everything she knew was right.

Never the less, a package arrived in the mail two weeks later and Kally remembered her purpose. It was long and black and plunged to show her perfectly shaped back and her unequaled genetics. She looked rather like she was going to a risqué funeral.

Her mission was extremely successful. It was a subtle enough statement not to cause major controversy, but people noticed. She had smirked in restrained triumph at her stunned father in passing at the ball. She put on an exaggerated show of arrogance that the nobles did not openly respond to. (Behind their jeweled fingers they whispered and wondered- how could she be so disrespectful to the king, her own father!)

There were no immediate repercussions however, and for a year she lived her ridiculously fake court life. Her mother wanted her to be herself- but the people of Tortall wanted her to be something else entirely. She lived in a river of opulence and wealth but she still craved something to drink.

The princess became detached from reality and from the people that had cared about her most. She convinced herself that they were all using her, just like the sycophants at the imperial court.

"You're wild and crazy! That's why everyone treats you like you're breakable and no one's offered to marry you yet!" Liam told her after mischievously sneaking into her room one morning after a long night.

"Get back to the nursery where you belong you little urchin!" She had screeched, chasing him out of her room with the sharp end of her shoe.

Thayet was standing there stoically when she burst into the hallway. Liam laughed merrily and skipped away.

"Oh Kally." Thayet sighed, closing her weary eyes at the sight of her daughter (not yet changed out of the previous night's clothing with her hair standing out at an odd angle and her face paint half rubbed off during the night) now standing before her poised to strike.

"Mama I'm sorry, I-" Kally began nervously, replacing her shoe on the correct foot and tucking a lock of stray hair behind her ear.

"Don't, Kally." She pleaded, looking grimly at her eldest daughter. "Just please, do your family honor. That is all I have ever asked of you."

She left Kally looking and feeling very pale.

It did not take long after that for her father to summon her.

"I wanted to be a dancer, I wanted to be a knight- you could have entertained any one of my wishes just once." She argued in reply to his unfavorable comments about her recent mien.

"What do you want now, Kally?" Jonathan placed a hand on his forehead.

"I can't figure out what I want by being who someone else wants me to be." She told him vehemently. "Perhaps I could tell you if I go somewhere far, far away from here."

They both knew what she truly meant. _Far, far away from you._

"Is that really what you want Kalasin? To be exiled? Because that can be arranged." He said in exasperation. His eyes dared her to challenge him.

"Maybe it is." She replied, somehow accomplishing to meet his glare with a both placid and defiant gaze. Kalasin did not see her parents as their subjects saw them. From her perspective they were not just and fair monarchs. They were flawed.

"If I had been born first, before Roald, would you have granted me the throne?" She couldn't resist asking him scathingly.

"I suppose we'll never know." He told her, shaking his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**A short installment…**

Kalasin lived as a ghost in King's Reach for four years. The lady of the manor was unrelentingly strict and the land was far removed from the cities and bustling palaces she was familiar with. She had quickly adopted somber eyes and a serious expression. She wasted herself away grieving alone.

The Great Progress eventually arrived at King's Reach and she met with her family for an allotted amount of time at the customary feasts and jousts. On the final day, she saw a disturbing vision. A squire named Kel successfully participated in the duels and the jousts and Kally felt sick as she watched from her cushion beside the crown prince. She caught the girl's eyes later that night and glared as she walked past, her thin unremarkable shoulders hunched in her gorgeous cloak.

"I'm sick of living like a disobedient child that has been in a time-out for an unnecessarily long time. I'm tired of living like this- trapped in this prison." She told Lianne, who had come to visit her.

Lianne looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before replying: "You're not tired of living 'like this' you're just plain tired of living!"

Kally stared at her in disbelief. "How can you say that?" She lunged toward her little sister.

"It's the plain truth!" Lianne insisted, dodging her grip. "Do you even know _how _to live anymore? Because it seems to me like my sister died a long time ago!"

Kally ceased her attempts to garrote Lianne and pressed her lips into a hard, thin line. She realized how grown up and healthy the young woman before her seemed, and how much she had changed since she had scene her last. Everyone else was moving on in their lives, but somehow she had not. Lianne stood still, prepared to flee if Kally decided to attack her again.

"I know how to live, and I'll prove it!" Kally declared. She could change if she wanted to. She fled the room and went down to the scullery where she recklessly dunked her head in a foul smelling wash tub. Within the hour, her hair turned an awful bland color like hay that had been left out in the sun for too long. It did not matter to her at that moment, however.

Lianne left King's Reach and left her with a lot to think about. In the effort to push what was required of her away, she had also forgotten her desire to travel, to sleep beneath the moon and the stars as she had when she was small, to help, and to heal, and to make friends of all sorts.

She sent a message to her father as soon as she no longer had to cover her head with a scarf. It was a request to travel and serve as a diplomat. Location and circumstances were most certainly not a matter of concern.

This time he granted it.

Kally spent her eighteenth birthday on a ship heading to Carthak. She had finally reached the region of the world where the atmosphere was always either acrid or humid and the temperature never wavered from one hundred and thirty seven thousand and ten degrees.

Returning to a busy port city was refreshing for Kally, who welcomed the scent of slow rot and decay like an old friend. She was comforted by the feeling of the worn cobblestone street under her feet" after months at sea.

The royal procession was met by a host of guards with the emperor himself perched on a palanquin veiled in swaths of gauzy fabric. She smiled when she saw the display. The court in Carthak was her escape from the conventions and constraints of Tortall. She still had her title and her honor, but she could truly be whomever she liked here among strangers.

A crowd of civilians gathered at the harbor to greet the exotic princess, and later a crowd of nobility gathered at the palace to gawk at her.

"You look hopelessly disenchanted." A voice commented from above her. The introductions had lulled and Kally had been left to watch the ripples form in her chalice as a result of the loud reverberations of the hall. She was disappointed to find that there were some aspects of royalty she would likely never be able to escape.

She looked up slowly to face the emperor himself, dripping with gold and rubies that contrasted nicely with his darkened complexion. "Perhaps I could interest you in something a bit less mundane?" Although she could have sworn she detected a trace of satire in his voice, she decided to stick with formalities for the moment.

"Emperor Kaddar." She stood and addressed him. "I apologize, I did not mean to…"

He was grinning and shaking his head. Kally felt suddenly alert. She held her breath as he raised a hand. "Not necessary, Princess. I completely understand." Kally was taken aback. Her parents had been informal rulers aside from the times when they were required to keep up appearances. She had not expected anyone else in the realm to have a similar approach. "I believe a trip to the menagerie is in order, would you agree Princess Kalasin?"

"Well…" She began; trying to sound intrigued as she peered over his shoulder to make sure the usual prying aristocrats were otherwise occupied. "That sounds lovely." She returned his smile as best she could and pushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

It was certainly the most extensive and efficient menagerie she had ever seen. She was in awe of all the unusual creatures from the region.

"It really is a shame that I must subject you to their scrutiny." He said as they were observing a family of marmosets. "Fortunately, I have become quite talented at avoiding them after all these years." Oddly, he was still smiling and he allowed a brilliant golden bird of prey settle on his bare hand.

"Fortunate indeed." Kally replied dryly while admiring the bird. "I am not sure I will ever be entirely comfortable with the ensembles that insist on following me around." She knew she shouldn't be speaking so freely with this stranger, but refused to restrain herself any longer.

"Perhaps you will be able to tolerate them as I do some day. Is it the same in your country? It has been so long since I was exposed to Tortallan culture." He remarked.

"In ways, yes. But I like it here already." She sighed hopefully.

The bird took off again, leaving deep gashes in Kaddar's flesh. He tried to conceal it within one long sleeve before she noticed, but she found herself reaching out to grasp his hand without a second thought. With a flash of ethereal fire she mended the shallow cut. His eyes widened as she offered him the first genuinely happy smile he had seen grace her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Kally was proving to be an astute and invaluable diplomat. She earned the trust and respect of the emperor's advisors quicker than he had. The emperor and the princess found themselves surviving the summer court season together when they were not dealing with state affairs. They laughed at the outrageous grandiosity of the nobles and highly anticipated the stunts used to gain their approval or attention.

When Kaddar was not too busy managing his country they took walks through the magnificent gardens and courtyards on the palace grounds. It had taken approximately a week for them to start calling each other by their first name. She was grateful to have found a kindred spirit in the emperor, they shared similar sentiments. He was not anything like the impenitent chauvinists that refused to acknowledge her independence at court. They were equals in more than just rank.

One day he took her to an oasis not far outside of the capital. "If there was one thing I learned from my uncle," He told her gravely, "It was to have fun every once in a while."

Kally rode a beautiful black stallion that she greatly appreciated. She was amazed by everything she saw and heard. Along the way they reached a waterfall with the clearest water she had ever come across. Could it be that she was fulfilling her dreams riding so far from home?

She smiled and jumped down off of her horse, shedding her shoes and riding gear almost immediately. "What are you doing?" Kaddar called to her nervously over the roar of the water, although he already had a hunch as to what her plan was.

"What was that little pearl of wisdom you got from your uncle? 'Have fun every once in a while'?" She teased him playfully, jumping from rock to rock.

"Yes, but I don't think he meant…"

Princess Kalasin, the jewel of Tortall and the daughter of King Jonathan, jumped.

They finally returned to the palace at dusk. Kally had dried out quickly in the desert air and had been unable to release the grin on her face for quite sometime.

"This has been the best day!" She declared with elation, spinning through the corridor adorned with mosaics.

Kaddar smiled thoughtfully at her. "There may be one more thing I can show you before it's over."

He led her to the citadel of Carthak, where the air was pure and a breeze sifted through the highest rooftops. The princess reached up to grab Kaddar's shoulder to keep herself from falling over the edge. The lights of the city sparkled and the streets echoed lively noises. She realized then that she could explore this land endlessly and never be content to stop.

"I could stay up here forever." She sighed, taking in the beauty she saw. She laughed and looked upward; she had never felt so close to the stars.

"Do you really mean that?" He asked, watching her look around absently.

"Well yes, I…" It was then that she noticed that he was staring at her intently.

As she slowly arched upward to kiss him, she had never felt any less apprehensive. For the first time in her life she felt like her life was her own. She had traveled to Carthak by her own design, she was far away from anyone who was trying to manipulate her opinions, she had found a true kindred spirit in the Emperor while living as a strictly autonomous princess…

"No." Princess Kalasin of Conte launched herself away; cold realization crippled her usual attention to proper manners. Her eyes widened in horror. "This is what he wanted." She whispered inaudibly. She had transformed entirely. Suddenly she couldn't scramble far enough away from him.

"Pardon?" Kaddar looked extremely confused.

"Forgive me. I apologize. Forgive me." She repeated herself and moved toward the winding stairs.

She was going to escape, and he was going to let her.

"Wait." He said loudly.

She froze in place and turned to face him; her eyes were bereft of their usual zeal.

"What's wrong?" He asked her slowly.

"He planned this." She said, keeping her eyes trained on the stones in the floor.

"Who?"

"My father he…" It dawned on her that her revelation would sound ridiculous to anyone but her. "This is his game; he believes there is a certain way the realm should be run… I am part of his larger plan that I want no part in but my situation is helpless."

"I am not following your train of thought… What exactly has your father planned?"

"He-he sent me here on purpose." Kally stuttered. "He wanted me to connect with you- marry you possibly. Which is an absurd notion." She shook her head and covered her downcast eyes with her hand. "There is nothing I can do, this is the only way things have ever been, and I guess I will never really leave the walls of the castle in Corus."

"Well then, don't leave Carthak."

Kally crossed her arms and laughed grimly.

"Do you want to stay here?"

"Well of course I do- there is nothing I would rather do, but I really don't think it's an option right now."

"Why not?"

Kally searched for an answer but it took an interminable amount of time to find one.

"You may stay here for as long as you wish, you have my utmost support and permission. I implore you to stay. Don't do it for me, don't do it for the King of Tortall, do it for peace. Mithros knows you could use some."

"What does that mean." She hissed.

"Stop fighting, princess, stop fighting everything good that comes your way because you're afraid it will restrict you. You like taking chances, you like jumping from waterfalls, so jump Kally. Do something that promises to benefit _you_ for once."

"Then what?" She clutched her shawl around her to keep it from sliding off her shoulders. Kaddar placed a hand on her jaw line and forced her to look at him.

"Then, my dear princess, if you wish, you can choose to marry me of your own will." A rare breeze caressed the rooftops and Kally suddenly found that she couldn't breathe as a wave of realization crashed over her. She had lived for so long feeling like she was imprisoned when in truth, she never really had. A flock of exotic birds took off from their perches on a roof top and flew up into the night. Kally slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Kally visited Tortall one last time as its princess. She walked trough the familiar, but somehow distant gates of her old home in Corus and changed in her old rooms before meeting with her father. She was tempted to unpack everything and personalize the empty space again, but she knew she didn't belong there anymore.

King Jonathan was in the midst of an important war meeting with his advisors and generals when Kally peaked inside. A strategic map of Scanra was sprawled across the surface of a gilded mahogany table. His cabinet spoke in low, serious tones, pointing to places on the drawing. Finally, Kally cleared her throat and made her presence known. Her father's expression changed from concerned to gleeful in a matter of seconds. He bade them all to leave and take a quick recess, leaving father and daughter standing awkwardly across from each other.

"You look well, Kalasin." Kally was somewhat surprised by the twinkle in her father's eye.

"I am." She admitted with a weak smile.

"Then I am glad. For a while I was worried that you would not find what you needed to be happy."

"It just took me a while to figure out exactly what it was."

He studied her with a new curiosity, pulling at his gray-streaked beard. "I was the same way at your age, with an itch in my feet and the desire to question every rule laid out for me." The corner of his mouth quirked upward. "I could not yet come to terms with why I had been stuck with such a great responsibility when I asked for nothing of the sort."

Kally couldn't find anything to say to him for a long time. "I don't understand." She said, staring at the king in disbelief. "This is all well and good for you to be telling me this now, but couldn't you have told me five years ago?"

He grinned at her wisely. "Perhaps. But would you have listened?" He approached her and kissed her cheek. Kally did not pull away. "I wish you luck in anything you may seek to do, my child. You have always had my blessing."

He promised to speak with her again shortly and left her in the conference room while he went to attend to more kingly duties.

An unexpected smile graced Kally's lips as she sat down.

Maybe tonight she would sleep beneath the stars once more.

**I have never been very good at choosing topics that people want to read about, judging by the severe lack of Kalasin based fics this is not what the general public wants to read. so if you did bother to read this, ****all feedback is appreciated and highly encouraged. **** Anyone can review ;) **


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